May 082012
 

rat-scratch-fever Brought back from a doomed space mission, an army of giant rats develop a big appetite for Los Angeles residents.

Well, the plot for this little nugget of joy was enough for me to buy the movie, especially after viewing the trailer that is a feast of loving cheese full of tacky models and full size mutant rat heads. Yes, I had to own it and as soon as the DVD arrived I sat down in front of the TV (to my girlfriends great pain. Not a fan of cheesy monster movies I’m afraid to say) and started to worry. Can this really be good? 105 minutes of low budget monsters can be painful if the heart isn’t in the right place. So, let’s get down to brass tacks. Rat Scratch Fever is essentially a throwback Continue reading »

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Mar 082012
 

sexy-time-trip-ninja This Japanese film of the ‘pink’ variety delivers what it promises. There is a ‘timetrip’, some ninjas, and some sex. As a film reviewer I often get caught up in the details and forget to have fun. This film is fun. Sure the sets are terrible, the acting ‘hammy’, and the story is not going to win a Newberry Award any time soon, but this adds to the fun! If B-movies are your thing, Director Yojiro Takita film is definitely worth a look. It delivers what it promises – ninjas, sex, and a ‘timetrip’.

The movie opens as a period piece on the Osaka Castle in 1615. The obvious fact that it is a model cannot be overlooked. He we meet Lord Sanada as he summons Sasuke Sarutobi to his chambers for a meeting. It seems the castle Continue reading »

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Feb 282012
 

sm-hunter After having viewed a few of Japans Pink films recently, I started to get an understanding of how the films generally looked and were made. S&M Hunter thus far, has been the best all around Pink film I’ve seen to date from technical aspects to having a full, story.

A man’s partner is kidnapped by The Bombers, an all female gang looking to use men as their personal sex slaves. S&M Hunter takes the job of infiltrating the group, and finding the kidnapped guy, all the while using his rope skills to train the females to serve him. He saves the day, one of the women falls for him and he knows deep down their love can’t be because he has many women to train Continue reading »

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Feb 232012
 

sexy-battle-girls In recent years, we’ve seen a lot of crazy films coming from Japan like Machine Girl and Tokyo Gore Police, that have upped the gore factor in cinema, but also make the audience anticipate the next “out there” idea they’re going to come up with. Surprisingly, 1986’s Sexy Battle Girls gave me some thrills in the same exact way, and gave me an insight into what was probably the inspiration for a lot of the Japanese trash cinema directors out there now.

Mirai, a young girl who has to forever wear a high tech chastity belt, is transferred to a new school by her father. While there, she uncovers an underground human trafficking ring set up by the head master and his head detective Continue reading »

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Jan 302012
 

grindhouse-experience-volume-1 Those of you unfamiliar with Mondo may want to take note that it is most certainly not going to be everybody’s cup o’ tea as it is typically filled with bizarre rituals, nudity, sex and graphic, bloody violence from around the world. Often overflowing with gruesome sequences depicting mutilated animals and the human casualties of war, execution and accidents; watching a Mondo film is like settling in for a night of National Geographic edited by sadistic perverts. It cannot be stressed enough that while many Mondo films feature facts of zoological and anthropological interest, they’re still exploitation films and should never be mistaken for anything remotely educational. You’d think most would know that but some folks might be tempted to see this thinking they’ll learn something of worth. Trust me, you’ll not Continue reading »

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Jan 282012
 

the-eternal-evil-of-asia The Eternal Evil of Asia is another wonderfully produced category III horror/voodoo/sex/comedy romp produced by legendary Wong Jing. Being one of the most prolific filmmakers in Hong Kong, anyone who knows what Wong is capable of, will have an inkling as to what they should expect in this hilarious tale.

Four friends travel to Thailand on a bachelor party excursion, but the trip goes awry when they befriend a local wizard and accidentally kill his sister. They return to Hong Kong, but the wizard follows and begins picking them off one by one. The wife to be has to decide to make a personal sacrifice to save the man she loves and her brother Continue reading »

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Nov 282011
 

black-magic-with-buddha I’ve learned something today. Evil Thai mummy brains aren’t something you should mess about with; it’s as simple as that. And if you do feel like keeping them for your own personal gain, make sure you feed them regularly. They tend to get rather mad if they are hungry. Like any other pet really. That’s something the protagonist of low budget Hong Kong sleaze Black Magic with Buddha learns when he goes to Thailand, takes home a brain with magic powers to use for his own personal gain. You see, our hero is somewhat of a looser. Only somewhat though, for a CAT III hero he is actually fairly likeable. He means well I suppose, he just doesn’t seem to think of the consequences of what he is doing, and the fact that it kills his sister and his wife’s family, well, he never seems to care that much about it. He comes off as Continue reading »

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Nov 222011
 

helldriver After a meteorite makes impact with Japan, it sends alien spores into the atmosphere, infecting humans with a virus that mutates them into flesh-eating fiends with little horns protruding from their foreheads. Japan, as the world knows it, ceases to exist and in its place is an island nation divided into two parts by a massive wall, effectively separating the living from the infected (read: zombies). To make matters worse, the horns of the dead are being illegally harvested, dried, ground up and sold on the black market as a new drug.

Factions within the current Japanese government are intent on halting the advance of the horde by putting together a special team, lead by Kika, and sending them into the infected zone. Their mission Continue reading »

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Nov 172011
 

savage-island When the gorgeous Daly makes an appointment to see a shady jewel dealer named Luker (as in filthy?), she has no intention of purchasing precious gems, she’s out for cold-hard revenge. Armed with righteous fury and a machine gun, Daly weaves a tale of terror on a jungle island that Luker will never forget!

Let’s be upfront here, this isn’t a “grindhouse” film, despite the label being slapped on the front of the DVD case. These days pretty much everybody uses the words “grindhouse” and “cult classic” for whatever the hell they please, almost to the point of stripping the words of any real meaning. It was bound to happen, there’s no sense whining about it as, eventually, the trend will burn itself out. Until Continue reading »

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Nov 152011
 

cut-throats-nine I can imagine the filmmakers having a meeting before the shoot, before a script is presented. They want to make a western, that has been decided, but the writer is seething with anger. He has probably just gotten through a nasty divorce and is angry. They want a movie without heroes. They want everyone that dies to die in the most brutal way possible and the mood should be uncomfortable and filthy.

Boy did they succeed.

A group of soldiers are on their way to a fort with a number of chained Continue reading »

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Oct 212011
 

Theatrical Poster

While I was waiting outside the theater waiting to be let in for the Las Vegas PollyGrind Festival screening of Dear God No!, a hairy, drunken, tattooed biker detached himself from a large group of hairy, drunken tattooed bikers and staggered over to me. He threw his arm around my shoulders and slurred, “You’re a beautiful man. Just a…beautiful man.” Unsure of the correct Emily Post-approved response in this particular social situation, I smiled politely and replied, “Thanks.” He then leaned in closer and declared, “What is it with glory holes these days? There are no glory holes anywhere any more…not even in Vegas. What’s with that shit?” It was at that moment that I thought to myself, Am I about to be raped by a biker?

My fear was slightly diminished when he continued with, “I’m gonna Continue reading »

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Oct 132011
 

Theatrical Poster

*Heavy Spoilers Ahead*

The Human Centipede was fairly underwhelming. It wasn’t terrible and it wasn’t fantastic, but it wasn’t this monstrously absurd and gory movie you may have expected from the concept and promotional materials. The concept itself was probably the most disturbing and interesting aspect of the movie. Imagining yourself in that situation was more horrific than anything that made it on-screen. It didn’t even feel like people had enough time to fully process the first film before writer/director Tom Six began hyping the second film in a proposed trilogy. The sequel was then banned in the UK (before the ban was lifted recently) and censored in the US, which probably only piqued curiosity even further. Tom Six has gone on record as saying The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) Continue reading »

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