Giallo (2009)

Theatrical Poster

A demented psychopath dubbed “Yellow” is torturing, disfiguring and murdering beautiful women in Rome and it’s up to an emotionally damaged American police detective and an Italian flight attendant to follow the clues that lead to the identity of the killer and, hopefully, to the whereabouts of the flight attendant’s sister.

There was a time when the mere mention of Dario Argento’s name brought gasps from film geeks worldwide. The amazing impact his films have made on the horror genre cannot be underestimated, the man is legendary, his cinematic contributions are legendary. Thankfully the best of his films, like The Bird with the Crystal Plumage, Deep Red and Suspiria, will remain with us long after he tarnishes his own reputation with garbage.

Case in point, Giallo, garbage. I could probably bitch about the entirely unrealistic “cop/civilian” partnership between Inspector Enzo Avolfi (Adrien Brody) and Linda (Emmanuelle Seigner), the clumsy (and cheesy) comparisons between Avolfi and the killer “Yellow” (both played by Brody!) or the fact that the film was totally devoid of any real tension but my biggest issue with this film was the tragic look of Argento’s killer. Think “Yellow Bastard” from Sin City with a Rambo wig and bandanna, sans the stylish noir.

What the hell was Argento thinking? Why would he choose to blow his wad and show the killer’s face in the first quarter of the film and ultimately go with such a goofy-looking, Dick Tracy-esque villain when he does? I cannot believe these were the visuals that Argento found the most appealing and effective. Has he lost his mind? I kid you not, the minute I saw Brody’s lame “ugly face” make-up, I felt the entire film flush right down the shitter for me. The Dario we love is no more, in his place stands a filmmaker out-of-touch with his audience and unable to re-create the talent he once held. Giallo is nothing more than a spoof. This is no “return to form,” this is a cartoon.

While there were some interesting things about this film, namely the locations, cinematography, occasional gems of gore and the nod to literary Giallo, I just could not muster up anything worthwhile about this film to recommend, unless you enjoy watching career train wrecks. I know Dario has distanced himself from this film due to creative differences and two of the three screenwriters sport less-than-stellar resumes, but poorly executed is poorly executed. Throw your hands up all you want, blame the producers, blame the editors, bottom line…you made ANOTHER bad film (remember Mother of Tears?).

Skip Giallo. Go rent Four Flies on Grey Velvet instead.