DVD Release
A fellow horror acquaintance of mine and I were recently having a discussion that quickly became a heated argument on a serious topic, “Are Cerina Vincent’s “talents” fake or natural?”
Now, being the kind of guy that I am, I try to see the best in all people and I truly believe they are most definitely real. The way they hang and jiggle just don’t indicate implants. Plus, they’re not hitched up to her chin! Sure, you’re sitting right now and thinking I’m a pig but this is what men talk about so live with it.
Anyhow, long story short…they’re fantastic.
It Waits is the newest horror release from Stephen J. Cannell. Needless to say, I wasn’t expecting much. I knew it was about a monster and Cerina Vincent was in it and that’s about all. For most, that would be enough but I was a witness to the yawn inducing atrocity, Demon Hunter, and I just wasn’t all that confident this film would be any better.
Danny St. Claire (Cerina Vincent) is a forest ranger going through an emotionally rough spot after the tragic drunk driving death of her best friend Julie (Miranda Frigon). Guilty over having been behind the wheel, Danny drowns her sorrow in a bottle of Vodka and looks after Julie’s talking parrot, Hoppy.
When Danny’s boyfriend Justin (Dominic Zamprogna) arrives at the ranger station/living quarters, things appear to get better as he’s there to comfort Danny. There’s only one minor problem…something is in the forest. Watching…waiting.
Seems a few months back there was a team of college students that blasted their way into a cave to explore and were mysteriously torn to pieces. The slaughter was attributed to a “spree killer” and authorities believe he/she had moved on.
Strange things begin occurring at the guard station and it quickly becomes apparent that Danny and Justin may be in danger. Nothing says “danger” like a flipped jeep and a torn out engine, right? Figuring there’s a phone they might be able to contact somebody with in the State Damn office they make their way there only to find the communications trashed.
Somebody needs to get help and you don’t have to be a brain surgeon to figure out Justin will be the one to suggest they “split up” in order to lead whatever is out there away from Danny. That probably would have been a great plan if he had survived long enough to get help.
With Justin and two missing, now dead, hikers, Danny realizes that whatever is out there is simply toying with her and it’ll soon come for her when it’s ready. What is the creature in the woods? Where did it come from? When will we get the back story from a Native American Obi-Wan Kenobi?
First of all…Cerina Vincent is breathtaking. She plays the whole film out while dressed in nothing more than brown polyester pants and a tank top. Yes, a tank top. I caught myself mumbling, “Holy shit.” several times through out the movie. I mean, I’m not taking anything away from Vincent’s actual acting talents, because she can act, but it’s not hard to imagine why she was chosen for this role.
The FX in this film was adequate. Some of the severed heads and dead bodies could have used a bit more loving care because they didn’t really resemble their living counterparts all that much. I suppose one can overlook that though.
Here’s what people really want to know though…how does the monster look? Well, from the box art it looks quite cool and when they finally do reveal the beast it’s not bad at all. I can only describe it as a mixture of Ridley’s Scott’s Alien, Stan Winston’s Pumpkinhead and Coppola’s Dracula. There are times when the creature looks fantastic and other times, like when the beast sprouts wings, which look ridiculous. Thankfully they don’t use the flying CG much.
There is one scene that had me laughing my ass off in which Vincent rushes inside her guard tower and blockades the door with a desk to “keep the monster out”. Normally that might work but when you’re in a guard tower that’s almost completely comprised of glass windows, 30 feet in the air, keeping a winged monster that can pick up jeeps from breaking down your door by pushing a desk in front of it just doesn’t make sense.
Vincent is never completely convincing as the bad ass monster fighter but she works with what she has and works it well. Aside from the whole “talking parrot” thing this wasn’t a half bad little monster flick. It never creates much tension but not much does any more.
This is quite a bit better than what you might see on the Sci-Fi Channel, just don’t go into It Waits thinking you’re going to get nudity or ultra violence because this just isn’t that kind of film. At only 88 minutes, you could do and watch worse.
