DVD Release
The Cook (2007)
R1 / NTSC DVD
Anchor Bay
Director: Gregg Simon
Writers: Nicholas Bonomo, Francisco Rodriguez
Cast: Mark Hengst, Kit Paquin, Makinna Ridgway,
Review By Adam Tracey
With half away on vacation the remaining girls of the sorority, Alpha Beta Big Boobs, settle in for a little down time over the weekend, consisting mostly of watching movies, drinking and doing some drugs. The staff has taken the weekend off, so a replacement cook has been found to cater to the group of girls. The cook, a Hungarian a fact that leads to some absolutely inane dialogue, doesn’t speak English. Soon girls start disappearing, but will any of the girls be sober enough to stop the cook before he wipes them all out?
Firstly, I know that all us pervo guys like to imagine that all girls are deep down lesbians and all they want to do is motorboat and muff dive, but we seriously don’t believe that. Apparently the boys who made this do. I have never seen so much innuendo and faux lesbian teasing. Pretty much the first 45 minutes was just the girls teasing each other about spankings and tongue lashings. Just to make sure they covered all bases one of the characters was actually a lesbian.
This movie had absolutely no direction. They setup relationships and connections that any movie viewer who could take his eyes off the occasional boob shots, would think mean something for later, were ditched. The cook, sporting a horrible accent, was humorous at first with his thumbs up response to everything, but got old quickly.
Occasionally a movie uses the promise of tits and gore as its main focus for selling a movie. You have to think if they have resorted to that, you are in for a stink fest of a movie. Hatchet deployed a similar method and while the boob part was skimped on it brought it home on the kill scenes. The Cook does have loads of gore and misused nudity (if that is possible), but it really does nothing and you are left bored.
