Feb 142008
 

DVD Release

Breeders (1986)
R1/ NTSC DVD
MGM / 2001
Director: Tim Kincaid
Writer: Tim Kincaid
Cast: Teresa Farley, Lance Lewman, Frances Raines & Natalie O’Connell
Review by Adam Tracey

An otherworldly being is sent to this planet to save his race. He must use this world’s virgin women to breed, so of course he makes the first place you think of for virgins, New York City, his hunting ground. Soon the attacked women arise and using a secret tunnel gather in the basement of the Empire State Building for the largest alien sperm bath you have ever seen. Dr. Pace and Detective Andriotti must isolate the who, why and how and hunt down this being before they can spread and become unstoppable. Can they do it in time?

The only thing this movie may have had going for it was it’s willingness to show nudity, but alas even that wasn’t a saving grace. This movie is useless. All it did was teach me that the way to find virgins in NYC is to look for the women who don’t wear bras and are willing to strip down to nothing any place that suits them. There was just barely a storyline. The cast put on a tour de force of wooden, expressionless acting, buying heavily into the louder you talk the angrier you must be theory. The alien is a dude in a spandex suit with big rubber gloves.

Breeders is the A #1 reason to not blind buy DVDs, even if they come from the bargain bin. I thought any movie was worth at least one dollar. I was horribly wrong. After some research I began to understand why this story had nothing to keep the interest of a normal viewer, its director spends most of his time making low budget porno. I guess that at least explains why there is not plot.

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