Ride The Horsey!
How many of you fellas out there have ever sat around and pondered the important questions in life like, where the hell you were when smoking hot 5th grade teachers were passing “it” out? Ever ask yourself why you never seem to pick the “right” massage parlors? Hell, I constantly find myself wondering how I’ve never run into a hotel room maid that offers more than just cleaning services. It’s almost as if this type of shit happens to everybody BUT you, ya know? Maybe I’m just being childish here but this kind of shit only seems to happen to the most undeserving dumb-asses and wankers. By God I wouldn’t mind a “happy ending” every now and then!
*sigh*
Anyhow, moving right along, filmmaker Wolfgang Büld’s The Chambermaid (previously titled Lovesick: Sick Love) presents us with every healthy, red-blooded man’s dream…Fiona Horsey playing a chambermaid willing to take a few bucks for a wee bit o’ perversion! If that don’t sound like a winner I don’t know what does! Settle down settle down it wasn’t that spectacular! Actually, The Chambermaid wasn’t all that bad either; twists and turns abound in this black-hearted little low-budgeter.
Julia Bateman (Fiona Horsey) has a major problem on her hands, her musician boyfriend Istvan (William Rowsey) lands himself in major hot water with some incredibly volatile drug dealers after snorting the twenty grams of cocaine he should have been selling. Poor Istvan needs cash and fast so he hits up Julia for some loot hoping to be able to get the dealers a bit in order to stave off a beating. Unfortunately, Julia has nowhere near the kind of money he’ll need to keep the dealers happy so she breaks down and gives in to the sexual advances of a politician staying in the hotel she works at. The randy chap tosses some bills at Julie for some sexual favors as well as his entire wallet to “finish” the transaction but his wife walks in and finds Julia half-naked and cash in hand.
While Istvan may get the money needed to keep the dealers at bay, the incident was reported to Julia’s hotel manager Michael O’Ryan (Paul Conway). Julia ends up accused by the politician and his wife of stealing the money and O’Ryan finds himself required to fire her and contact the authorities about the theft. It begins to look like there’s no way out for Julia until she happens upon a drunken O’Ryan lying in the street later that night. She helps him home and devises a little plan to keep herself from being fired and jailed; she slips into bed with O’Ryan and pretends they had sex the night before.
The plan works…a little too well. The hapless hotel manager begins falling madly in love with her but she’s still in love with Istvan. Her plan to convince O’Ryan that they had sex is taken too far though when she cons him into believing she loves him back in order to score a place to stay after being evicted from her flat. Her secret love for Istvan though is quickly discovered by O’Ryan so he whips up his own little slice of revenge by drugging Julia and raping her while she’s unconscious. As if shit couldn’t get worse, Julia discovers what he’s done, notifies him that she’s pregnant and moves Istvan into his home! She aims to take O’Ryan for everything he’s got but she has no idea just how unstable he really is!
I gotta say, I’m not sure why but I’m always surprised with Wolfgang Büld’s films. I guess I’m always expecting the worst because they’re low budget but, honestly, I’ve yet to be truly disappointed by one. He’s got a knack for making some cleverly constructed and seriously twisted little films that never shy away from gut-wrenchingly gruesome violence or steamy adult situations. Büld is no chump, he’s fully aware of Horsey’s talent as an actress as well as her incredible beauty and sexual appeal and he utilizes all of those traits effectively. A Wolfgang Büld film without a naked Fiona Horsey would be like…like…Dario Argento with no Claudio Simonetti or Guillermo Del Toro with no Doug Jones!
The Chambermaid was relatively interesting in a psycho soap opera way and I occasionally found myself eagerly awaiting the next curve ball. The character of Julie slowly goes from hard-working gal struggling to make ends meet to desperate money hungry schemer as the film progresses. While I wouldn’t say viewers will exactly root for Julia and her vicious conniving, one can certainly understand the lengths to which some will go for blind love and, eventually, revenge. You don’t need to be Miss Cleo to see things will go from bad to worse as Julia begins making mad money moves.
If you’re familiar with (and appreciative of) Büld’s work, you’ll probably dig this. There are some familiar faces here that some viewers may recognize from previous MTI/Büld releases including Paul Conway (Angst & Twisted Sisters) and Eden Ford (Twisted Sisters). Some also may want to take note that this film actually falls between Penetration Angst (2003) and Twisted Sisters (2006) and was made in ’04. It appears MTI has been releasing them out of order, not that it really matters but you can see some improvement from Penetration Angst to this and from this to Twisted Sisters. I wouldn’t say Büld has made major leaps in his filmmaking abilities but he’s no Ulli Lommel and that’s saying something. I’d have to say Angst (aka Penetration Angst) has to be Büld’s best work to date. Personally, I’m looking forward to seeing more from the Büld & Horsey duo in the future.
The Chambermaid isn’t a fantastic film but I did find myself entertained. I’d recommend a rental but not much more than that. This is one of those “check it out once and probably never see it again” type films you occasionally find yourself renting when the new releases are all checked out. It’s definitely going to be hit or miss for most.
