Kekko Kamen Box Set
If you could change one thing about Wonder Woman, She-Hulk, Spider Woman or Batgirl what would it be? If your answer was “I’d have all of those super heroines run around fighting crime with their tits hanging out!” than you are one twisted fuckin’ pervert…and so right! Hell yeah man a super hero chick with her nips dancing about as she kicked the shit outta some purse snatching scum would be the super heroine I’d be rooting for that’s for sure! How can you go wrong? You get a strong female role model, unashamed of her body and fighting for injustice!!
*looks around*
I don’t see many of you female readers cheering with me here. I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume you all think that’s a BAD idea? If so I gotta respectfully disagree with you because in my mind there would be NOTHING cooler than a smoking hot mutant chick handing android terrorist’s their asses while sporting three naked tits and a clear plastic cod piece. That spells liberation to me!
Apparently Manga creator Go Nagai agrees with me because his hilarious spoof on Japanese anime “fanservice” (equivalent to our T&A in cartoons) features a sexy, naked super heroine named, Kekko Kamen!! Imagine watching a full-length Power Rangers movie featuring only the Pink Ranger…with no clothes on aside from her helmet and a scarf…eh? EH? You likey?
Admittedly I am a major sexist pig so this concept can do nothing BUT appeal to me. Shit this movie could have simply featured Kekko Kamen walking around in circles singing a Yoko Ono song and I would have paid a month’s wages to own it! It a sleazy spoof…ON SLEAZE! Go figure! Once you’ve seen one Kekko Kamen movie I guarantee you’ll kick a midget to see the other 3 sequels currently available on DVD in the U.S.
According to most sources there are actually seven live-action Kekko Kamen films and one anime film but only four of the newest live-action entries and the anime have made it here. What a shame right? One of the cool things about the four live-actioners though is they’ve been collected together in a box set by the good folks over at Media Blasters for your…*ahem*…blasting pleasure.
New girl Mayumi Takahashi arrives at an all girls television broadcasting school called Mangriffin Academy to learn to be a newswoman but quickly learns the staff of Mangriffin are far more concerned with discipline! Rumor has it one slip up can cost you a “private lesson” with one of the teachers in the basement. Not only must the girls of the school fear punishments in the torture chamber but they’re also being watched through an intricate security system by the perverted Mangriffin Headmaster!
When Mayumi fails to memorize her kanji, she’s given a private lesson in the dungeon with the staff. Tied to a rocking horse in her panties, Maymumi is forced to endure horrible torture, humiliation and a tooth brushing! Is there anybody out there that can save Mayumi from a well deserved spanking on her sweet little bottom? Is there nobody that’s willing to fight injustice by exposing herself?
DAMN SKIPPY.
Kekko Kamen arrives to open a case of asshole stompin’ using a dazzling array of weapons including glittery nunchakus, mesmerizing nipples and a savage move called, MUFFICATION, in which Kekko Kamen leaps through the air, spreads her legs and exposes her gleaming ‘gina; effectively hypnotizing her prey long enough to wrap her legs around their head and suffocate them with her muff. Hence, MUFF-OCATION. Eh? EH? You likey now?
After Kekko Kamen saves Myaumi, the Headmaster decides to expose Kekko Kamen in order to destroy her…and…that’s about it. There’s a scene with Mayumi in her undies, a scene featuring squirming eels in a cage with Mayumi and there’s a scene with…um…a girl with big boobs. Oh and there’s this scene with a girl that ballroom dances with no underwear under her skirt. Yeah. Yup. *sighs*
ALRIGHT ALRIGHT Kekko Kamen New has absolutely no plot whatsoever! There’s barely anything holding this film together aside from the boneriffic Japanese girls in uniforms. The one and only draw here is Kekko Kamen’s hot nekkid ass and the possibility of seeing Japanese girls in little white cotton panties. YEAH BABY YEAH!! Do we get those? Yup. I suppose in some ways Kekko Kamen New succeeds better than most movies out there when you look at it that way. You want a naked super heroine to show up and beat ass? You got it! You want an incredibly hot little Japanese chick in white panties and knee high socks? You got it!
Yay four stars!!
No, not really. Kekko Kamen New doesn’t pretend there’s any story so why should I? The dialogue is hilarious, the sleaze is over-the-top and the theme song deserves to be heard by the world. I must admit though one particular scene involving a Japanese girl with a bad case of gas had me giggling non-stop for a few hours! It’s probably a guy thing but I just can’t get enough fart gags!
The acting was cheap, the production values horrid and the occasional winks at the audience got old but spoofy you want, spoofy you get. Don’t let anybody tell you there was a point trying to be made here because the only point you’ll discover is the one forming a tent in your boxer shorts. Jiggling tits, muff-fu and inflatable bunny ears never felt so right. If you’re a fan of Hentai (you scum) or Japanese schoolgirls in general, you gotta check Kekko Kamen New out at least once even if it is for only five minutes. *cough*
