U.S. DVD Release
Believe it or not I was raised on more than just horror and sci-fi, I know I know…crazy, right? It’s true though I definitely attribute some of my geekdom to mysteries and crime thrillers as well. I’d say a healthy portion of my childhood was spent reading boxes of my Mother’s old Alfred Hitchcock Magazine, Ellery Queen Magazine and quite a bit of Agatha Christie as well. I’d even search for murder mysteries in those massive Reader’s Digest collections!
These days I’ve actually been working on tracking down exploitation novels, spy thrillers, crime novels and old ratty Gialli. It’s a slow process finding many of these books but if you’ve ever been locked up in county jail before I’m sure you’ll agree there’s no shortage of those books floating around out there. The Destroyer novels were always fun to read during lockdown. Old, hole-in-the-wall bookshops and even Ebay are some of the best places to go when you’re looking for those wonderful cult novels. I recently located a huge lot of The Destroyer novels for only $10!
Anyhow, I love a good mystery. There’s nothing like questioning every character’s moves, interpreting every possible suspect’s motives. Who? Why? What? Where? When? If a film can keep me guessing until the very end I consider that entertainment and in my opinion nobody entertained better than the Italians! If you’re unsure of what a Giallo is lemme give you a super quickie Giallo 101. Giallo is the Italian word for “Yellow” which was used to indicate a series of mystery novels from the early ‘30’s that sported yellow covers. Eventually these books were translated into films and the name is still used today. Unlike American mysteries, Italian Gialli (the plural of Giallo is Gialli) featured nudity, blood and twisted psychopaths. There’s more but that’s really all you need to know.
Naked You Die, directed by Antonio Margheriti (Seven Deaths in a Cat’s Eye & Cannibal Apocalypse), is an early Giallo from the late 60’s and the mind of film legend Mario Bava (Black Sunday) and Giovanni Simonelli (A Cat in the Brain). Scripted by Franco Bottari (Colt 38 Special Squad) and Margheriti himself, Naked You Die is a lighthearted little mystery that serves up a bit of comedy, romance and a healthy dose of “Whothefuckdoneit?”
St. Hilda’s School for Girls used to be a great place to learn but it’s recently taken a turn for the worse when girls start turning up dead! A maniacal murderer is choking his way through the student body and the police believe the killer may be gunning for one particular girl…Lucille (Eleonora Brown)! Not only do they believe the killer wants Lucille dead but they also believe Lucille may know more than she’s letting on!
Could the killer be the perverted peeping tom groundskeeper La Floret (Luciano Pigozzi of Case of the Bloody Iris & Zombi 3)? Perhaps the killer is actually Lucille’s playboy lover Richard Barrett (Mark Damon of Bava’s Black Sabbath)? Inspector Durand (Michael Rennie) believes it could even be school swim instructor Mr. di Brazzi (Bird with the Crystal Plumage)! Certainly it couldn’t be any of the female staff could it?
What would a murderer possibly have to gain by killing poor Lucille? How does a million dollars grab ya? That’s right Lucille’s relative stands to make quite a bit of money off of Lucille’s demise but the question remains…who is it? Inspector Durand and nosey student and junior detective Jill (Sally Smith) are on the case but they may not solve this mystery in time!
Naked You Die is definitely not as sleazy and twisted as most Giallo fare so I was a bit letdown but it really was fun and packed a bit more punch than I had originally expected. When I mentioned it was lighthearted though, I wasn’t joking. Sally Smith mugs for the camera with all sorts of goofiness and the doinky doo doo doo doink comedic stingers are in all the right places. It’s definitely not going to be redirecting any blood flow to your boxers but it still presented quite the engaging mystery and a wild gender-bending finale to boot!
Naked You Die is presented in anamorphic widescreen format (2.35.1) with a 2.0 mono track featuring English subs. Sorry folks, no dubbing here. Dark Sky has really done a great job of providing us with a clear, colorful transfer with only minor speckles from print damage. Considering the film was made in ’68 and this is the first time it’s even been seen complete and uncut in America, I’d say they’ve probably done the best they could to deliver the best transfer possible. Extras include a trailer and still gallery; not exactly overflowing. Don’t whine you get what you get!
I doubt Naked You Die will ever make my Top 25 Gialli Films list but it still hit the spot. If you enjoy mysteries but aren’t really ready to jump two feet in a heart beat into the world of Giallo cinema, check this film out. It’s not mondo sleazy and the story can be easily followed so long as you’re okay with subtitles. Happy hunting!
