DVD Release
Do you ever wonder what these aspiring new filmmakers are thinking as they slap together their shot-on-DV “masterpieces?” I mean, do they really believe they’re following in the footsteps of icons like Sam Raimi and Peter Jackson? Are they honestly thinking that THEIR FILM is going to be “THE FILM” to look for?
Ya know, I sometimes ask myself,”If they believe they’ve got such an original, interesting and “bound to be a classic” horror film why not tighten the script, hire real actors and shoot on film?” It seems nowadays filmmakers want to FOLLOW in the footsteps of the Sam Raimi’s and Peter Jackson’s without actually putting on their shoes and committing themselves to the entire path these pioneers once forged.
Don’t take these thoughts as some sort of indication that Aunt Rose is bad, while not exactly mindblowing it wasn’t horrible either. I just wonder at times what kind of films we’d get if filmmakers had no other options? Would we still be getting crappy, unoriginal horror if filmmakers were forced to use every dollar wisely on real film and real actor’s wages?
The state of independent horror today reminds me a lot of the music industry a few years back when home studio recording equipment became available to anybody with a few grand in their hands. Suddenly, ANYBODY could be a “musician” and the market became flooded with “indie” releases. Gone were the days of playing seedy little bars behind chain link fencing or walking through neighborhoods to promote your upcoming CD release and worrying you were going to get shot for $18. Now that you could record on a computer, every 16 year old middle class whiteboy could be a rapper and every diva with a Caribbean Cruise Line hook could become the next dance music singing sensation.
I wonder what would happen if all digital video cams and camcorders just disappeared one day.
Well, at any rate Aunt Rose is one of those DV flicks that have already faded from the genre’s memory after being on shelves a little more than a month. I’m not trying to be mean but it’s forgettable in a major way and there’s only two reasons why a DVD doesn’t feature any pics from the film on the back cover…
1. The DVD label doesn’t want you to know the film was shot-on-video.
2. The DVD label doesn’t want you to know the film was shot on-video…and its crap.
Meet Johnny (Joshua Nelson), Stewie (Kevin T. Collins) and Robin (Velocity Chyaldd), three sadistic scumbags on the run from the law after a tiny bout of robbery and murder. Deciding to head out of town, Johnny & Robin decide to “hole up” in a house…um…in town…for a few days until the heat dies down and they can take off. Robin arranges for the three to stop off at an acquaintances home in order to drop some money off and we all know what that means.
Meanwhile, we’re introduced to Peter (Frank Franconeri) and Anna (Christine D’Amato) and their spoiled daughter Debbie (Elizabeth Cooke). Apparently, Peter and Debbie haven’t been getting along lately and to make matters worse the Family believes Debbie has a lesbian girlfriend just to get back at her Father. On top of all the drama, Debbie’s bedridden and ailing Aunt Rose lives upstairs and gives Debbie the major creeps.
During a rather intense dinner between Peter, Anna, Debbie and her “boyfriend” Toni (Raine Brown), the three psychos drop by and take the group hostage while they prepare to board up the house for a few days. Emotions rage out of control and Johnny and Robin, the real loose cannons of the trio, kill Peter and Toni leaving Anna and her daughter Debbie to fend for themselves.
A child should never be forced to suffer though and the mysterious Aunt Rose (Marty Gargle) begins toying with the criminals. Who really is Aunt Rose and how is she able to create these hallucinations?
Unfortunately, you’ll be left with the proverbial “dick in hand” when it comes to answers on Aunt Rose. The film spends way too much time setting up these two sets of characters for their final confrontation.
In other words…BLAH BLAH BLAH YAK YAK YAK. To say Aunt Rose is a bit talky and short on anything really informative is an understatement. Almost forty minutes of the film is spent showing how sick Johnny and the gang are and how spoiled Debbie is. By the time the shit hits the fan you’ll have turned the fan off and put it back in the closet.
Obviously, this is a low budget film so bitching about the quality of acting is petty. Low budget filmmakers have to make due with what they have and in this case I felt the actors all handled their roles to the best of their abilities. I think the only one I was truly impressed with though was Joshua Nelson, who also doubled as writer for this film. He’s really come up since his role as Joey the Butcher in Strange Things Happen At Sundown.
Another person of interest I’d like to bring up is Velocity Chyaldd who played Robin. All tact aside, Velocity has massive, wood-worthy juggs that I was dying to see more of. We do get a quick glimpse but not nearly enough to justify hitting the pause button for a…uh…coffee break.
Honestly, I’d pay at least $100 to pop my cookies on just one of her breasts. God, I’m sexist slime. Somebody find a midget chick to kick me in my sack!!
Aunt Rose had one major thing going for it…gore. Apparently, Anchor Bay sliced the shit out of it though so all opportunities for fantastic gore shots are gone. How incredibly hypocritical then that Anchor Bay would use a blurb from a well known review site that states, “…delivers the gore…the best indie horror film I’ve seen this year.”
WHAT GORE? Obviously the quote was made before the film was emasculated but shame on Anchor Bay for picking up a gory film and then hacking it all up. That’s like paying for a Brazilian hooker and asking her to cover up her big jiggling ass!
Ah well, Aunt Rose isn’t the worst I’ve ever seen but it did’t satisfy this reviewer. You aren’t going to discover the source of Aunt Rose’s “abilities” nor will the “demonic twist” make any sense at all. While I normally don’t need my hand held; it would help if there was at least a straight line to follow. Anchor Bay may be to blame for cutting the gore but the filmmakers are at fault for creating an overly talky, and ultimately forgettable, indie horror film that misses the mark and does little to tell a story.
